Once Upon A Time

“Don’t go to Brenning, CA”

On January 24th, 2011, I went to C.R.E.A.M. around 3:30 in the afternoon to get myself half a dozen of their amazingly delicious cookies. As I was walking by, I ran into these guys pictured below and decided to walk over. I didn’t have any random objects with me at the time, but I asked them “If I give you a cookie, will you tell me a story?”

Scar guy, on the left, said yes. He’d tell me how he got that gnarly scar on his arm.

And so he told me, all the while munching on a chocolate chip cookie from C.R.E.A.M.

I fell into the top hatch of a train car and got stuck for 7 and a half days and was found by rail police who saw my legs sticking out and heard me screaming for help.

They tried to convince me that I was ok at first.
Then they called the fire dept when they realized I was genuinely stuck. So the fire dept came and pulled me out

I spent 2 weeks in a coma.

The doctor came in, and said,

“We’re gonna cut your arm off.”

So I told him

“F*** you if you cut my arm off I’m gonna find it and beat you to death.”

The nurses were on my side, and they told the doctor: No you’re not gonna do that. Give him some more options.

Then they loaded me up on the gurney thing and one nurse pushed the doctor out of the room. The other nurse injected me with painkillers and meds to prep me for surgery.

The doctor came back in & said, that they’d operate slowly remove all dead/dying musle and tissue and see what we have to work.

He said:
“It may wind up that there’s nothing left and you’ll just be in pain at the very end.”

I said “Ok. That’s better than amputating outright.”

He said, ok sign release forms

But I said no, not without a lawyer.

So they brought in more sedatives and physical therapists who quoted lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. There was one older woman and one younger guy.

They were surprised when the surgery was so successful.

I got to keep my arm.

It’s just so messed up that I spent 3 and a half weeks of my life in a train car and then in a coma.

According to scar guy (since I don’t know his name) this incident occurred on April 4, 2000 in Brenning, CA, which is somewhere near San Jose.
 

Wanna know how he ended up upside down in the rail car in the first place? I did too so I asked him. Here’s his answer:

I had a really bad morning. I fought with my son’s mother and she stabbed me so I was upset and I went walking. I like walking on the tops of those rail cars and I slipped and fell into one of ‘em and got stuck. And that’s how I got stuck in the rail car.

When I asked him what the moral of the story was or what wisdom he wanted me to depart with, he merely said:

“Don’t go to Brenning, CA.”

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Hi-atus

I realize it’s been a while since I’ve last posted and I totally apologize for that. Thank you for all those who have been following me, I will hopefully be able to post more often in the next few weeks.

Recently, I’ve been extremely sick and I was extremely busy, unfortunately at the same time.

It is also midterm season, which is never any fun because no one likes midterms.

That, and a lot has happened, a lot has changed here at Cal in the past month. At least, it has for me. It’s been a great transitionary period and I’m still adjusting to everything that has happened in the past few weeks.

It has also been a major transitionary period for the Middle East. I’m sure you have all been (or should have been) keeping up with the news. We have all been fortunate enough to witness a multitude of incredible stories of the fight for freedom (among other things) across the Middle East. Egypt is free, and Libya, attacked by its own government, is well on its way to writing its own future. On the other side of the world, New Zealand is recovering from a massive 6.3 earthquake, from which inspiring tales of survival and also of tragedy have been unfolding. For example, there is the story of Chris Greenslade who ran across town and dug with his bare hands through the rubble of a collapsed office building to rescue his fiance Emma Howard, saving others who were buried in the process. This is a story of the power of true love. They are pictured here below at their wedding. You can read the full story here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1360589/New-Zealand-earthquake-Woman-trapped-6-hours-marries-fiance-Christchurch.html#ixzz1EzFeQdTK

Aside from all the drama from the world, I have been writing my own stories. I’ve started over, for real this time. And things are going to be different this time. Things are going to change.

But I’ll keep you all posted :)

Enjoy the stories, and again, if you have a story, send it to me or hit me up for some coffee.

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Blurb: A story for all humans.

I think at a certain point everyone gets tired of getting hurt, of waiting for things to change, of waiting for tomorrow.

I think after being disappointed over and over again, being proven right every single time that you start to lose your faith in humanity.

 

Once your faith is gone, it’s only a matter of time before you don’t trust anyone anymore.

 

You take that leap of faith over and over again, thinking every time that maybe this time will be different. So you jump. Jump off that cliff, not knowing what may lie at the bottom. Free falling. You’re flying, and it seems like nothing can stop you, like you’ll fly forever. But you’re not flying. Just like Woody told Buzz in Toy Story 1. You’re not truly flying. You’re just falling.

 

And then you hit the rocks at the bottom.

 

They might have been there all along. They may have just appeared or been placed there by some happenstance or an irritated rock gnome who lives at the bottom. Either way, you hit them going a hundred miles an hour, impaling yourself on your own hopes, on your own aspirations. Pierced to the very center of your being by the kind of hurt that only human beings can inflict on you. It’s almost as if they were standing at the bottom, waiting for you to fall, waiting for you to fall on their knives.

 

And they stab you. Stab you in the back. Stab you in the heart. And if you survive, you’re left with deep wounds that all of time couldn’t heal. Wounds that ooze with disappointment and unanswerable questions. Wounds that always bleed through no matter how many band-aids you try to cover them up with. Wounds that become scars that stay with you until the day you die.

 

Sometimes, it’s your fault. Most of the time, it’s not. They turn on you for reasons of their own. This is why human beings are the most dangerous creatures on the planet. We’re irrational. Controlled by fickle emotions that fluctuate as unpredictably as the stock market. We claim to have reason, but many times, we throw it out the window or distort it to serve our own selfish agendas.

 

Once you lose your faith in humanity, you stop jumping. You build a castle and hide in there, hoping no one can cross your moat full of piranha and sharks and other dangerous animals, hoping no one could possibly scale those tall dark walls, hoping that no one would try to kill your dragon. But at the same time, you do hope that someone will be brave (or stupid) enough to try. To risk getting hurt trying to break into your castle. To be able to battle with your fire-breathing monster of a past because they know you’re worth saving, worth loving, worth knowing.

But in the end, it’s all on you.

 

Those rare people can smash your castle walls to bits, jump over your moat, and slay your dragon, but in order to escape the castle, you have to jump from your tower. This isn’t like Rapunzel where you can just chuck your mile long hair out the window and your handsome prince can climb up and save you from your fortress. Life isn’t a Disney movie.

In order to escape, you have to jump. No parachutes, bungee cords, or rope to keep you from falling out of control. No pillows, trampoline, or bed of soft gummy bears to break your fall at the bottom. It’s just you and that person.

 

That person who had the courage to take a chance on you. Who made it all the way to you, and is now waiting for you to take a chance with them. And they stand at the bottom of your tall tall tower, waiting to catch you.

 

Seems like the same situation, just different faces.

You’ve jumped before, a tower, a cliff, and falling, flying, impaled yourself on rocks and knives at the bottom. Perhaps you left your tower before, but when you reached the bottom, no one was there to catch you. Perhaps it was an illusion, perhaps you were too late and they got tired waiting, perhaps they changed their minds and went off to find something better, something easier to catch. Perhaps they were standing there waiting, but as you approached them, they let you hit the ground and watched, laughing, as you shattered into a million pieces. And then you find yourself destroyed and there’s no one there to put you back together. So you duct tape the pieces back as well as you can and climb all the way back up to your tower, convincing yourself along the way that it would be best to sit up there alone forever if only to avoid another shattering disappointment.

 

But human beings don’t work like that, and neither does hope. That one indestructible failsafe that is an integral part of being human.

 

Hope.

 

Hope is what gives us the courage to keep going, to keep taking those chances, to keep loving, to keep trying in the hopes that this time, things will end differently. In the hopes that happy endings, true friendships, and beautiful lives are not only confined to Disney movies and storybooks.

 

Life is what you make it. It’s about taking chances and making the most of everything you have while you have it. Don’t let your past rob you of your future. Learn from your past and let the rest go.

 

If you’re tired of the way things are, the way things have been for days, weeks, months, years, then take a chance. Let yourself live. Let others love you.

 

True courage is not in never falling, but in rising stronger than ever every time you do fall, every time you are destroyed. It is easy to die, but so terribly hard to live. Nothing worthwhile in this life ever comes easy. You have to fight for what you want, what you love, and what is right. So

 

Take a leap of faith today

 

and don’t ever look back.

Dedicated to T.T.N. who taught me what it means to take a leap of faith.

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Camp Kesem 2009: Stanley’s Story 2

Camp Kesem is a FREE summer camp for kids who have or have had a parent with cancer. It is run entirely by students and is a prominent organization on campus at the University of California Berkeley.

This inspirational story was written by Camp Kesem counselor Stanley Quan, a 4th year studying Business and Public Health. He has been with Camp Kesem for 3 years and a counselor for the past 2 summers, and will be a counselor again this summer.

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Like last Tuesday, I’m going to share a memorable story from my unit of 8-9 year old campers at Camp Kesem a few weeks ago.

(Note: I’m not using the campers’ real names)

This is a story of 9 year-old camper  ”Jenny.” She came to camp last year and was really excited to come back again this year.

Jenny had tried scaling the rock climbing wall twice last year, but came down about half way up each time. This year, as our unit of campers was heading over to the rock climbing area, she came up to me and kept telling me that she was going to make it to the top this time.

Well, the first time Jenny went up, she got about 3/4ths of the way up the wall before looking down. That’s when the heights and fear set in and she wanted to come down.

Since our group of campers was relatively quick, Jenny got a another shot at the end of our session. She was hesitant and initially didn’t want to, but bravely decided to give it a go.

Off she went, fast up the wall, without much of a flinch. But as Jenny got to that 3/4ths point again, she looked down and became scared again. She really wanted to just give up and be let down. From down below, I could see that she had tears streaming, wobbly legs, and a look of complete terror in her eyes.

But when Jenny looked down again, all she saw was support. All the other same-aged campers and counselors from the unit had stood up, walked to the wall, and was cheering her on.  Jenny may have wanted to give up, but the unit wouldn’t let her.

I don’t remember who let out the first cheer, but it was definitely a camper. Those initial words of encouragement got the whole group going, almost like a rallying call. Everyone started chanting “Jen-ny! Jen-ny! Jen-ny!”

Jenny, still sobbing, turned her head back up and climbed those last rocks. With each step, the roar got louder. It felt like we were all up there with her.

It was amazing when we all saw Jenny reach the top and ring the bell. She came down half-smiling and half-sobbing, and was instantly given many high-fives and “good jobs!”

This was probably the most inspirational moment from my week at camp.

Later in the week, I saw Jenny beaming with the hugest smile, telling other kids that she made it all the way to the top :)

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Anyone interested in becoming a camp counselor should check out the Camp Kesem DeCal and everyone should check out the Camp Kesem website and Facebook: Camp Kesem.

www.campkesem.org

Our mission is two-fold:

To provide kids whose parents have or have had cancer with a summer camp experience that gives them a chance to be kids

To allow college students to channel their passion for making a difference, while developing critical leadership skills for long term social impact

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Things I Learned in Nicaragua

Ellie is a 3rd year Econ major at the University of California, Berkeley and a member of Livingwater Church, with whom she went on a mission to Nicaragua over Spring Break during her freshman year.

This is her story.

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I was immediately interested when I heard the church was having a mission trip. I had always wanted to go but had SAT’s and other things to do in high school and never had the time.

The only thing I thought about was blessing people there, but I also hoped that God would reveal himself to me. We prepared throughout the school year for the mission.

This woman who was studying at the School of Optometry collected 400 glasses and packed her tools to bring.

It was my 1st time being in a 3rd world country and seeing how people are so grateful for little things that we take for granted made a huge impact on me.

We set up an optometry clinic in one of the villages and people waited in line all day.

The people there were so open minded and I went on the mission thinking I would be teaching and evangelizing the locals; I just wanted to bless and love them, but it turned out to be the other way around: I learned so much from them.

Our main mission was to build a well because their old water supply got contaminated. There was a huge flood years before in the nearby region and a lot of people were displaced, so the government just put them here where they are now. Everyone helped dig a couple buckets of dirt. We also built a portable restroom.

There was a good fellowship with everyone on the team. I didn’t know many of the people really well back in Berkeley, but we all really bonded on the mission. We were only there for 7 days, but it felt like a really long time.

This mission defined my freshman year.

I miss the children the most. We visited a children’s cancer center, which was heartbreaking. One boy had a tumor in his brain which affected his speech and movement. But he came up to me, saying how grateful he was and how great God is, even though he was in that condition. That was one of the most memorable parts of the mission.

I really want to go back this year to visit the village again and see the well and the children.

God really met me there.

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The things people do never cease to amaze me. Where I have friends who don’t care about anything but about what is going on in their own lives, I also have friends who care deeply about others, especially those less fortunate than us, here in Berkeley and all over the world.

Before you criticize religion, or anything else for that matter, ask yourself how much you actually know about it. Then try to recall the last time you did something for someone else, regardless of the reason.

Ellie, and others at Livingwater carried their faith to Nicaragua to help the people there. They unselfishly gave 7 days of their lives to provide the people of that village with clean water. Water. That liquid stuff that we take for granted and shower for an hour in every day.

At churches like Livingwater, everyone is welcome and the Word (the Bible) is applied to your life, whether in an academic, social, or purely religious way. They organize missions to everywhere from Nicaragua to China on which Berkeley students, like Ellie, embark on with open minds, open hearts, and open hands to improve the lives of the people there.

To find out more information about this year’s Nicaragua trip, go to the Livingwater College Fellowship Facebook Group and ask.

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